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Classic Songs
Revisited
Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me
written and produced by Al Yankovic
About twenty songs ago in The List, I catalogued the theme song
from Al’s 1989 feature film, UHF. It was an original tune, as
opposed to his parodies—meaning he wrote both the lyrics and the
music to it—just as this song is as well. Back in the “UHF” days,
amid the parodies, Al had done a handful of original songs on each
album that he called “style parodies”: original songs very much in the style of a different artist or group, or “sound-alikes.” While the “UHF” theme song wasn’t exactly a style parody, some recognizable songs Al did in the ’80s resembled the distinct sounds of The B-52s, Devo, Talking Heads, Oingo Boingo, The Police, Beastie Boys, James Taylor and Harry Chapin.
After a little hiccup while getting over the damage UHF did to his career, and some time off trying to come up with the next big parody, Al returned with new albums in 1992 and ’93, continuing logically with the mix of parodies, style parodies and “pure” originals. The difference was, now back on steadier ground by the mid-’90s, Al allowed himself more time to work on his albums. (His then-independent then-record label wasn’t exactly thrilled about this, as Al was basically the artist keeping them in business through the 1990s, so they released some otherwise pointless compilations Al in turn wasn’t very happy with. But semi-simultaneously, they put out a second Greatest Hits and the Al box set, of which everyone approved.) In the ’80s, while still introducing himself to new audiences each year, Al had to stay fresh in their minds, so he tried to put out a new album each year. Past the mid-’90s, the gaps between albums extended to a few years. It had taken some time, but by the 21st century, Al’s fame was steadily accelerating, though yet to hit its apex.
The 20-00s and ’10s each saw only two new Yankovic albums released, but this didn’t stop his popularity growing with each one. By this time, he’d also grown so enamored with style parodies, they now accounted for the entirety of his original songs. A few weren’t exactly style parodies of one specific act, but rather a whole genre. The song I’m covering on this page is a style parody of the brand of majestic power ballads mostly made famous by writer and producer Jim Steinman, for singers like Meat Loaf, Bonnie Tyler, Céline Dion, etc. So we’re talking songs such as “Making Love Out Of Nothing At All,” “Total Eclipse Of The Heart,” “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That),” “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now,” and so on. Al needed correspondingly inane and laughable subject matter to pair up with this music for maximum comic effect, so here’s what he came up with. This song is the closer of his 2011 album Alpocalypse. Its official music video is essentially a lyric video, but more artistically crafted.
As a final fun tidbit, you can note at the very bottom, I made this page on 16 of June, 2021. Al put out his Alpocalypse album on June 21st, 2011. That means that as of this writing, in five more days, it will be the precise 10-year anniversary of that release. What a happy and Al-pocalyptic coincidence.
Have notes to add? Let me know!
YT:
2011
Lyrics
Oh, the sand keeps fallin’ through the hourglass / And there’s no way you’re gonna slow it down / You say we gotta treasure each moment / Who knows how long we’re gonna be around? / Yeah, you keep on tellin’ me life is short / And it’s hard to disagree with what you say / But if time is so precious, why’re you wastin’ mine? / ’Cause I’m always reading, always deleting / Every useless piece of garbage that you send my way / Every stupid hoax, all those corny jokes / Stop forwarding that crap to me / Well, I don’t need tons of cringe-inducing puns / Stop forwarding that crap to me / No, it isn’t okay if you “brighten” my day / With some cut-and-pasted hackneyed Hallmark poetry / And I didn’t request a personality test / Stop forwarding that crap to me / You’re sendin’ virus-laden bandwidth-hogging attachments / To every single person you know / You’re passin’ ’round a link to some dumb thing on YouTube / That everybody else already saw 3 years ago / And wacky, badly Photoshopped billboards / Were never that amusing to me / And I just can’t believe you believe those urban legends / But I have high hopes someone’ll point you toward Snopes / And debunk that crazy junk you’re spewing constantly / No, I don’t want a bowl of Chicken Soup For The Soul / Stop forwarding that crap to me / Send more Top Ten lists and I’ll slash my wrists / Please stop forwarding that crap to me / Well, I’m sorry I can’t accept your paranoid rant / And I don’t want the Neiman Marcus cookie recipe / Won’t you kindly refrain, ’cause it’s hurting my brain / Stop forwarding that crap to me / Like glittery hearts and unicorns and pictures of somebody’s cat / Now tell me, in what alternate reality would I care about something like that? / And by the way, your quotes from George Carlin aren’t really George Carlin / Mister Rogers never fought the Vietcong / And Bill Gates is never gonna give me something for nothing / And I highly doubt some dead girl’s gonna kill me if I don’t pass your letter along / Well now, I know you’re wishin’ I’ll sign your petition / But stop forwarding that crap to me / And I don’t want to read your series of conspiracy theories / Just stop forwarding that crap to me / And your two million loser friends all have my address now / ’Cause you never figured out the way to bcc: / Now I gotta insist, take me off of your list / Stop forwarding that crap to me / (Stop forwarding that crap to me) / (Stop forwarding that crap to me) / (Stop forwarding that crap to me) / (Stop forwarding that crap to me) Just stop it now / (Stop forwarding that crap to me) Oh no / (Stop forwarding that crap to me) Ohhhh... / (Stop forwarding that crap to me) I can’t take it / (Stop forwarding that crap to me) Aw, please / (Stop forwarding that crap to me) / (Stop forwarding that crap to me) You gotta stop / (Stop forwarding that crap to me) Right now / (Stop forwarding that crap to me) / (Stop forwarding that crap to me) I’m not kidding / (Stop forwarding that crap to me) / At the risk of being slightly repetitious, gonna ask you now to stop (stop) / Sendin’ me that crap / I don’t want it, don’t send it to me, no, don’t send it to me / (Stop forwarding that crap to me) Just stop / (Stop forwarding that crap to me) Oh / Stop forwarding that crap to me / To me / Ahhhh-ahhhh-ahhhhhhhh
first release: Alpocalypse (2011/06/21)
audio treated sample
This page was originally made on June 16th, 2021 and last edited on July 28th, 2021